Really?

Not that I'm making excuses or anything, but I don't normally watch reality television. While in Phoenix, however, my sister Courtney was watching the show So You Think You Can Dance which I found surprisingly entertaining as I sat down to join her, soon accompanied by my sister Angelica. I would like to share with you a little tid bit of the glory we beheld. With all the authority of reality television behind him, one of the judges boldly uttered the following train wreck of attempted poetics--looking very proud of himself--and all to a glassy-eyed audience seemingly awed by his eloquence yet apparently oblivious to the actual words that were coming out of his mouth. And without further adieu . . .

The performance ends, the host chats it up with the panting dancers for a moment, and all eyes turn to the judges for their expert opinions. Placing his chin on his elbow searching for the right words to express his profound critique, taking a deep breath and a long pause, and gazing heavenward as if for divine inspiration, he begins to speak:

"Being outside of your comfort zone represents umfa. . unfam. . unfurmiriarity (he struggles with this word but it doesn't seem to deter him and he moves forward with the utmost confidence) and it also represents darkness. And when faced with certain challenges like being out of your comfort zone of your gen-gen-genre you have to go and befriend characteristics of your challenge and you see the music. But when you see the music, you have to see certain pieces of music with your ears. And when you see with your ears, there is no darkness. And I saw no darkness within this routine."

Applause erupts from the awestruck audience who have just been privileged to hear from the Homer of our age. But just when you thought he was finished he clears his throat and begins again over the enthusiastic cheers:

"A lot of dancers they tend to forget that there's a pocket of music [. . . like a pita pocket? I'm not following. . .]. Each specific you know piece of music has a pocket and you have to get in between those instruments, you feel me?" [no, I really don't].

Now that's what I call entertainment. But seriously, who let this guy on T.V.?