Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Metaphor

As I was standing behind the desk at work gazing absent-mindedly (aka staring down super creepily) at the patrons (that's the fancy name we employees call them) walking through the library, contemplating the gloom and destruction known as finals that lay before me, I came up with the perfect metaphor. It's almost an allegory really. I should give some credit here to Amber, my lovely coworker, who, after being subjected to my metaphoric musings, suggested I write a blog about it (as far as I can figure, this could be for one of two reasons: a. she noticed I haven't posted on here for a month, or b. (and maybe more likely) she thought there was a good possibility that I would stop talking and sink back into thought with this suggestion). So here it is in all its glory (or not):

I was canyoneering several years back with my dad and sister, and we came upon a swim about halfway through the canyon. We stopped for a moment, as one does before any obstacle, and I stood at the brink of the dark abyss of water before me feeling masses of dread and anxiety weigh heavily on my body. This was the. last. thing. I wanted to do. Seriously, the last. It was freezing. The water was stop-your-breath-lump-in-throat cold and there was no sunshine reaching this cranny of the canyon. The canyon was narrow and winding, making the length of the swim impossible to determine--no end in sight. The water's depth was impossible to tell and my feet wouldn't touch bottom. The water was dark and rotten-smelling with a thick film of dust and slime on the surface. And possibly the best part, there was a dead rabbit floating about ten feet into the swim. A dead, unavoidable rabbit. Dead for long enough to be half decayed but still recently enough to be disturbingly recognizable as a close relative to Thumper. As I stared at the cold, narrow, winding doom that lay before me, the inevitability of it started to sink in. I realized that there was absolutely no way I could avoid this. I couldn't turn around; it's not like you can climb back up 60 foot rappels. Even as I realized this my body reeled back in obstinacy. I didn't want to do it. I really, really didn't want to. I remember the feeling of absolute dread as I realized I HAD to do it, that there was no alternative. Needless to say, I did it, I survived, and I accidentally kicked some stinky dead rabbit water in Angelica's face.

This, that I have just described, is what finals are like. They are there, they are unavoidable, they appear to be never ending. Even though every fiber of my being is searching for a way out, I know there is none. They are a necessary evil and I cannot get around them. I honestly cannot see the end of the next two weeks, it does not exist in my psyche. I have to overcome the all too natural resistance and force my body forward. And I might even get some dead rabbit water kicked in my face. So it goes.

6 comments:

camille said...

if crossing the dark, watery abyss represents tackling finals, i bet the dead rabbit is a symbol of your brain.

Unknown said...

If I had the waterproof pack that would help you swim through finals while keeping your head above water, I would surely give it to you again. Even if it meant getting dead rabbit water kicked in my face. That's how much I love you.

Jeremy said...

I wonder if that poor rabbit was killed by a crazed raccoon.

Bill said...

Canyoneering is NOT like final exams.

Canyoneering is fun and exciting, with occasional challenges thrown in.

Finals are a dreadful gauntlet without the faintest semblance of fun.

I would be glad to take you canyoneering any time. But you will have to take your finals alone.

Mom said...

Canyoneering is KIND of like FUN, but DIFFERENT, definitely different. Perhaps we could say the same about finals. Finals are kind of like canyoneering but different.

Zach said...

My favorite part about finals was walking downstairs afterwards and seeing my score on the TV screen. Even if it wasn't the score I was hoping for, I loved that feeling of closure.