Free Falling

At some point in my scholastic career I had a teacher, possibly several (it's all become a blur at my ripe old age of 19) that required something called "free writes" during class time. This exercise, supposedly a sort of stretching exercise for the creative juices (if you can stretch juices...maybe a really viscous liquid--like honey? Can you stretch honey? How about taffy, I know you can stretch that, can that be called a liquid?). Anyway, the idea is to sit down (although I suppose you could do it just as well standing up, assuming you had some sort of solid surface high enough to write on so as not to strain your back) and begin writing whatever pops into your mind. You are not to stop writing before the allotted amount of time is up but rather to just sort of spit out whatever pops into your head without giving yourself time to even think about it (though it seems to me that by virtue of something popping into your head you've technically already thought about it). So as I was hopelessly gazing at my empty screen thinking that I should really write a new blog post (because somewhere in my mind some part of me is harboring the delusion that someone out there enjoys reading these and is waiting in eager anticipation for me to write another post--this part of me suffers from a guilt complex and then begins worrying that that one person obsessed with my blog will forget about it and let it become some old, forgotten bookmarked site, floating out there in the archives of their computer if I don't update soon) but not having the foggiest idea what to write about, my mind wandered back to those school days, and well I just began writing. And now I am writing. And now you are reading. And this is called free writing which apparently is just a friendlier term for mindless babble in my case involving an unsightly amount of parentheses in a futile attempt to add some sort of grammatically correct punctuation to a stream of consciousness composition.
Have I made your mind spin yet? Have you taken a breath? Are you suddenly remembering how fast I sometimes talk, especially when around Julie, and regretting beginning this post because you are already exhausted but you, like me, suffer from a complex with which you are incapable of starting to read something without finishing it even if it makes you want to poke your eyes out with pointy sticks? I almost couldn't remember what kind of punctuation to end that sentence with it was so dang long. But I guess that's what happens when you are "free writing". I feel so creative and free spirited. Not really. Except that I feel like this is something that "those" people do; you know the ones that hang out in coffee shops and recite poems to each other and wear skinny pants and big dark-rimmed glasses and have real and intellectual thoughts about literature and art but scoff at the rest of us when we think we have those thoughts because ours obviously aren't genuine. You know, them. I bet they do stuff like free writing. And I bet they use terms like creative juices also. They probably know which liquids are viscous enough to stretch.
Wow, I just felt a profound sense of guilt for actually writing something this unreadable with the intent to subject others to it's insanity. But I'm doing it anyway, so I guess guilt just isn't a powerful enough motivator. It's just been overcome with selfishness which is unfortunately one of the MOST powerful motivators. Isn't that sad? And isn't that really what we are all trying to overcome in our quest for self improvement in life? I mean it seems like most things universally considered "good" can be traced back to overcoming our own selfish desires and viewpoints. Maybe we think it's good because it's so hard to do. We have so many unsettling selfish tendencies that just come so naturally and are thus so hard to overcome. So we all wish we could overcome them and we admire those who have. Ok, I've lost that train of thought, which might be ok because it might have turned into a train wreck.
Ok, here's a thought: you know those word verification things they use all over the Internet where you have to type in the letters you see that are all warped and swirly to prove that you're a real person and not a destructive hacking machine? Am I the only one that gets them wrong disturbingly frequently? Seriously, I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, and a very good test taker if I might add, but I get those things wrong constantly! Aren't they designed so that the average person can complete them? Is there something very very wrong with me that I should see a physician for? Every time I get that little red error message informing me that I should type the letters as they appear (in case I didn't know already, as if it's yelling, HEY MORON! to me) I have serious doubts about my abilities. I have especial trouble with blog spot's verifications; I am not exaggerating when I say that there have been times I have had to re-enter letters three times before I got it right. So please, seriously, somebody tell me, is this normal?!
I think I'm going to end this now for all of our sakes, I don't think anyone wants to find out where my free-spirited mind is going to go next. Shalom.